12 months to a new me.

EEEEeeek! It's February and I haven't kept up with blogging. Great news though, I have kept up with most of my resolutions! I have been running every week, for the past 7 weeks. I started off slow, about 4 miles the first week and gradually have worked my way up. My goal for this week is 15 miles! Just yesterday I started P90X and it is a bitch! I thought I was getting into shape with my running and figured it wouldn't be THAT hard. I was wrong. I can't imagine what a reck I would be if I hadn't been running all this time.

School has been going ok this semester. I only have one class, so it's not too stressful. M isn't in daycare, so we spend a lot of time together. She is even motivating me while I'm working out. It's really cute.

As far as reading goes, I've done well. I've read two books from my list already and am about half way through the third. I can't say that I am at all disappointed with the progress I've made. I haven't lost weight yet, but I feel really good about myself and with the support of friends and family I have been able to push through the rough days. I promise to write more often... but, it's late now and I'm tired. Until next time!

As I started thinking about how I should begin the process, I found I really had no idea what I was doing. My sister brought up the idea of weekly goals and this seemed so perfect! I think it's better for me to set up deadlines and short term goals for myself, because I am a big time procrastinator and who knows when I'd get things done in a span on 12 months! I haven't done much else than think about what I hope to accomplish, which really is not what I am suppossed to be doing. However, I'm still motivated and excited. (Good sign, I'd say.)

Today is Monday and there is no better way to start off the week than with goals! For this week, I hope to accomplish the following:

1. Run a minimum of 6 miles. ( I already ran 2 today!)
2. Finish the pile of laundry that has acquired over the past week.
3. Complete my list of 13 books for the coming year.
4. Plan out my meals for the rest of the week and go grocery shopping.
5. Fill out and turn in paperwork to transfer the title of the truck. (This has been on my list for nearly 3 years!)
6. Organize and clean the restrooms.

That's pretty much it. Simple things to start off with. I also have a few other plans for the week, so I can spend some time with M. This evening, after her nap, I am planning a little tea party. Since she just got a new tea set for Christmas. Wednesday and Friday, I will take her out to ride her bike. Then, I want to make plans with my sister to take the kids to a park during the weekend. As for myself, I want to do something "special" and for this week I have chosen to do my nails. Not at a salon, just here at home, but I never make time for this and I think it will give me a little ego boost!

I am really glad I have somewhere to jot all these ideas down. Again, I am excited!!

Oh, and before I forget-today, I ran 2 miles (yes, I know I already mentioned it) and burned 291 calories in a span of 26:30 minutes. It seems like a long amount of time for only 2 miles, but I run in intervals of sprints, some jogging, and of course warm up and cool down. OK, so that's my blog for the day. :)

So, it has been nearly 3 years since I actually felt good about myself. Being a mother has truly proven to be more challenging than I ever imagined. Going to school full time has also left me mentally exhausted. However, I am growing tired of making excuses for myself and I feel that my unhealthy lifestyle has had an impact on every part of my life. I have seen my shortcomings as a wife, mother, and student. I am ready to make some changes in order to better my relationships with others, but most of all myself. For this to be successful, I must come to terms with everything I am doing to avoid the reality of my situation. That is why I have turned to blogging. I am going to push myself to write about everything- my problems, my worries, and my feelings. This is the road to a healthier and happier me; the person I remember being before I gave up on myself.

There are many things that bother me about the way I am living and I am going to list them here, so that I can always look back and remind myself what I need to work on. First off, I think the source of my burdens is my weight. While I was pregnant, I gained a mere 90 lbs and have been unable to lose the remaining 60 lbs. This alone has caused a major stressor because I don't feel like myself and I have ostracized myself because of it. Then of course there is my role as a mother. I must admit that I have not done my best, mostly because I have had to deal with the self-esteem issues caused by my pregnancy. In order to be a better mom, I have decided to make a daily routine for my daughter, M, and I to follow. This way I will have daily mother daughter time, instead of scattered moments through out the week. As a wife, I have also given up on romance because I don't find myself appealing. Again, because of my weight gain. Last of all I am determined to work hard at school. I have never failed a class and only ever received 2 C's , but I know I can do better, so that is what I am going to work towards.

Not too long of a list, right? I only have to find ways that will make things possible! While I wait for the new year to begin, I will find ways to work on these things. I must admit that I am excited about this. It has been a while since I felt this way... I really feel motivated to get this done.